Dave’s Last Ride — 5 Page Comic Format — Proposal Purposed


“Dave’s Last Ride”

A “Suicidal” story


Page 1


Panel 1

Close shot – Dave POV: David LaCoste running a hand over the contours of his anti gravity bike.


CAP: He had suited up in an old pair of black denims and a black biker jacket over a grey tank.


Panel 2

Close shot – Dave POV: Dave sits on his bike, a modified rice burner with antigravity (no wheels, just horizontal flat space where they should be) capabilities. Engages the antigravity.


CAP Narrator: Hardly a costume but then he wasn’t a hero.


Panel 3

Side shot – Dave looking down as he presses a finger to his ear and his light/mag helmet envelopes his head. (Still no face shown yet.)


CAP Narrator: The Channel 6 news calls him Suicide Dave due to the extreme level of danger his stunts involve…plus some idiot anchor said his previous attire resembled that of the stunt biker in the old Super Dave cartoons. The name fit.


Panel 4

Close shot – Dave’s eyes looking through his helmet made of solid light. Intense shot. Should look like his eyes just popped open after he lifted his head up.


CAP Narrator: He is ready.


Panel 5

Medium shot – Dave jettisons through the open double doors of his private laboratory on the eighty-third floor of his BMT Building into the city on a horizontal rocket of a bike.


Dave internal monologue: I love this city.


Page 2


Panel 1

Medium shot – Dave banks left to miss an oncoming building.


Dave internal monologue: I love the freedom my bike offers me, the freedom all this tech affords.


Panel 2

Medium shot – He goes for an immediate hard right to narrowly dodge a low flying mag car.


Dave internal monologue: I can do whatever I want whenever I feel.


Panel 3

Medium shot/Wide angle shot – the car’s only occupant (playing solitaire) staring in open mouthed astonishment as Dave rockets away having barely missed his vehicle. The angle of the shot and the man sitting alone should give insight to how lacking in personal companionship and hooked on tech the people of Savyer City are.


Dave internal monologue: With this newest version of the grav bike I can even slip through the magnetic barrier that holds the mag cars on their paths and go Downtown.



Panel 4

Medium shot/wide angle shot – Dave POV: Dave notices other “drivers” staring at him from their moving boxes, their free flowing prisons within the infinitely gargantuan skyscrapers of Savyer City,


Dave internal monologue: Forgot what it was like to be trapped like that. Moving through the tributaries of this city like two ton electromagnetic powered logs speeding perfectly down a winding river. Floating prisons.


Panel 5

Close shot – Shot of Dave’s face as he sucks his helmet back into his ear. Dave comes to a halt on a rooftop not far from his own building’s.


Dave internal monologue: It seems like every night I go out it’s only a matter of time before someone calls in and I’m outracing the police… (Sigh)…


Panel 6

Panel opens up to reveal Dave on top of a roof, flying cars moving back and forth all around him.


Dave internal monologue: …What am I doing here again?



Page 3


Panel 1

He tries to focus on why he’s out tonight but the thought keeps slipping through his consciousness like a glob of Jell-O through his mental grasp.


Panel 2

Close shot – The screen on Dave’s bike. On screen: NavWare 2.2… Running… Mel’s voice is coming from his comm. in his ear.


Dave internal monologue: Nav-Ware! That’s right. I’m field testing navigational software for the Texas Armed Forces tonight. If we can get this to work on our own, we will no longer have to rely on software companies like ElectroniCorp and share copyrights and back end royalties. How can I forget that?

Mel (OP): Any day now, Hotshot.

Dave (OP): God, she can be annoying. Doesn’t she know I could die if my calculations are off by the most infinitesimal bit?

Mel (OP): Your calculations?!

Dave (OP): Not that they would be. I’ve been a genius longer than I can remember, Sweetheart.

Mel (OP): Your calculations?!?! We’ve been working to create navigational software for the Texas Government all this time and–Your calculations?!?!


Panel 3

Close shot – Dave looking directly forward mentally preparing himself for the jump ahead of him.


Dave: That’s all you get, Mel. Be quiet now.

Mel: That’s all I get? What you just give me this scintillating conversation?

Dave: (sigh) Focus. You can do this. This is all you, Dave.


Panel 4

Close shot – Dave looking directly forward as he revs the powerful engine underneath him. His facial expression should be one of mild surprise or puzzlement. He has one finger to the side of his head, shutting off her mic.


Mel: …coordinates and trajectories and–

Dave: Were you talking that whole time?

Mel: WHAT?! You f—


SFX – Boop!



Panel 5

Dave shoots across the rooftop like a bullet from a gun, going over the ledge and taking flight as he soars through the air, a flying man in a city where none exist.


Dave: Rotating an airborne antigravity motorcycle to land on a standing object and use its own velocity to propel it on its new path. No biggie.


Panel 6

He works the controls to go from horizontal movement to rotate the bike upward ninety degrees vertically.


Dave internal monologue: Let’s hope I’m not going to test the light/mag armor tonight, too.


Panel 7

At the very last moment possible, he completes the rotation and engages the anti-grav once more to bounce off the building. Glass from the building’s surface bursts under the vehicles gravity generators.


Dave internal monologue: But the NavWare should work.


Panel 8

In that same instant, he activates the magnetic boost on the bike to hold the connection to the building and begin scaling the surface, transferring his forward momentum upward.


Dave internal monologue: Nav-Ware, the software that’s going to turn BioMech Technologies into the next multibillion dollar corporation…


Panel 9

Dave puts a hand back to his ear and turns Mel’s mic back on to hear her screaming in his ear. He winces.


Dave internal monologue: …Working at its finest.


Mel: —did it! You did it! Oh my God, I can’t believe it! You finally got it to work.


Dave internal monologue: Mental note. Install noise filters into my ear mic.


Page 4


Panel 1

Close shot – Dave shuts her mic off once more. He is looking ahead of him, crouched low on the bike as he races up the building.


Dave: Finally? We’ve only been working on this ware for like a week, Mel. You work too hard. You’ve got some vacation time coming; I’d encourage you to take it. Besides we did it, Mel. We did it.




Dave internal monologue: Need to slow down a bit before reaching the top in about four seconds or my light/mag armor is going to be the next to be tested.


Panel 2

Medium shot – Dave looks shocked through his light/mag helmet, his hands up near his face and not on the controls as they are shown to move on their own.


Dave: What the fuck?


CAP: Two seconds.


Panel 3

Dave attempting to regain control of the bike to no avail. He will not make his rooftop landing; perhaps a lunar one.

Dave internal monologue: Wish I could get Mel to run a quick diagnostic but there’s just no time.


CAP: One second.


Panel 4

The bike rushes upward past the lip of the building’s roof and continues, gaining speed; the anti-gravity jets of the finely tuned machine working overtime now, pushing closer to redline. Dave attempts to comm with Mel but it is futile. Now his mic  isn’t working.


Dave: Pick up, dammit! Mel!


Dave internal monologue: What the fuck?!


CAP: Suicide Dave is out of time.


Panel 5

In an attempt to save his life by flinging his body from the rocketing deathtrap before it is too high above the rooftop he just passed (distance between Dave and the rooftop he just passed by should be stark with the rooftop in the background under him). Dave should be shown ripping at the safety harness to unstrap himself. Past sweating, fluid pours from his pores.


Dave: Safety first, my ass. Now I know why they did away with these things.


Dave internal monologue: Why is the bike heating up like this? Hasn’t done this on any of the previous test runs.


Panel 6

Dramatic shot of Dave (helmet off now) being shaken violently on the bike.



Dave: THE!

Dave: FUUU–!


Page 5


Panel 1

Close shot – in panel: Dave and Mel. David LaCoste turns to his assistant sitting in the chair next to his.


Dave internal monologue: Must have been daydreaming again. She’s going on about what exactly?

Mel: –and your morally toeing the line — testing new wares like this — it’s inherently wrong, Dave.

Dave internal monologue: I’m inherently bored, actually.


CAP: BioMech Technologies, David LaCoste’s Lab


Panel 2

He sips a small amount of cognac from a large glass in a sophisticated manner. He interrupts her self-righteous tirade with a dismissive hand, unconsciously brushing his index finger against her lip. Mel’s face should show this as a welcome surprise.


Dave: Hold on a sec, Mel.


Panel 3

Close shot – The girl moves forward, eyes closed but the hand is no longer there; its owner not even noticing her true feelings.


Dave (OP): You’re gonna miss it.




Panel 4

Medium shot/ wide angle shot – The explosion a few blocks over paints the sky a myriad hue of reds, oranges and yellows so bright Dave has to wince a bit but does not look away. He never looks away.


Dave: Ah! There it is. We lose more me’s that way. Eh, Mel?


Panel 5

Medium shot – Dave turns (with a neon pen in one hand and in the other a neon notepad) once more only to find himself alone. Black background between him sitting in his chair and the door. The door should be on its way to being closed by Mel — who is out of the shot due to her leaving the room — and should have light coming from the door. (The light emanating from the door should starkly contrast the darkness that should be apparent in the room. His loneliness vs. his safety net, Mel.)


Dave: Mel?


Panel 6

Medium shot – Dave looking sort of forlorn in his lab. The lighting should show just how alone he is. Dark background with him under the light of the closing door.


Dave internal monologue: I refuse to let a petty ideology like moral responsibility impede success.


Panel 7

Semi close shot – As the light disappears (from the closing door), the original David LaCoste shrugs as he turns back toward the light of the fireworks he has created this night.


Dave: Finally…


Panel 8

Medium shot/wide angle shot – Dave POV. Dave’s feet (non-blurred foreground) propped up on the desk beside a neon notepad — on it: Finish working kinks from NavWare Project — as the explosion is still lighting up the sky. (Emergency vehicles’ flashing lights should be seen floating en route to the fireball.) The only light entering the room should be the explosion’s, symbolizing his choice.


Dave: I love this city.


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