Bob the Ancient Astronaut in: “Hopelessly Hopeless”

The Undesirables’
Bob, the Ancient Astronaut
“Hopelessly Hopeless”

Panel 1
An ancient Neanderthal man has clubbed an ancient Neanderthal woman over the head.

CAP Bob: “It all started with a beer.”
CAP Bob: “Then again…”

Panel 2
As he drags her toward his cave in the background of the panel, the Neanderthal notices over his shoulder one of his people (in the foreground) who is pointing toward something in the sky.

Ancient man: Ugh. Ugh Ugh?!*

CAP Bob: “It usually does.”
CAP: *Translated from Neanderthal.

Panel 3
Establishing shot – A futuristic city. (See “Savyer City” reference picture.)

Bob (from a building inside the city): When I flip this switch, Izzie, I will finally surpass Edward Edelbrock as having invented the greatest technological achievement of mankind!
Izzie (from inside city): Who?
CAP: Uptown Savyer City.

Panel 4
A man dressed in a special suit (see “JomonStatue” reference) is in his apartment/science studio standing before a flying saucer shaped craft. The machine fizzles and sputters but does not do anything else.

CAP: The Science Studio.
Bob: The inventor of all the flying cars you see outside. He also made these buildings hover above downtown like they do.
Izzie: Oh… Why are you wearing that ridiculous outfit, Bob?
Bob: We’re about to go back in time. We don’t know what will happen, love. You should’ve worn–
Izzie: Ahh!

Panel 5
Bob looks down while Izzie holds up a case of beer that has a note on it that reads, “In case of failure.”

Panel 1
Bob and Izzie are sitting in the useless time machine, drinking a beer. Bob has the space suit on but has taken off the helmet. He is obviously drunk and she is consoling him.

Bob: I don’t understand why it didn’t work. I’m trying to make history, dammit! Sigh. I quit.
Izzie: It’s okay, Bobert. You gonna go back to working for your dad’s firm, then?

Panel 2
He spills a bottle as he reaches to for another one and the time machine begins to fizzle and spark, coming to life.

Bob: I’m done. No more science for– Oh!


Panel 3
Bob’s spacious apartment or “Science Studio” is left without a time machine and without Bob and Izzie.

SFX: Blink!

Panel 4
The ancient men are gathered around the one who was pointing. They are all looking at the sky now. It seems to be a flying disc shaped craft and it is hurtling forward in their direction.

Panel 5
Action shot – Bob’s time machine crashes to the Earth and the cave men disperse in panic.

Panel 6
The Neanderthal bow on their knees in reverence to their new “God” as Bob pokes his suited torso from the craft’s cabin on top.



Panel 1 (Panels 1-4 should be small to medium panels and should be spaced to depict the quick passage of time. A montage.)
Foreground: Cavemen should be depicted painting what they see on rocks. (see “AncientAstronauts” reference picture.) Background: Bob’s flying time machine/space ship/UFO

CAP Bob: “So thanks to my bender and my trying to impress a girl with a damn time machine, I accidentally bumbled through history, essentially a blind pilot, appearing to many of the world’s ancient civilizations as a god.”

CAP: Europe. 10,000 B.C.

Panel 2
The time machine/craft should be seen flying in the sky over a city full of kneeling, bowing and praying people in India. The entire city should be on their knees with their heads down in deference to the ship. (see “Lemuria-1” reference picture)

CAP Bob: “even some not so ancient ones.”
CAP Bob: “They called me Bhima in ancient India and greeted me with White elephants and orchids. They completely ignored izzie.”

CAP: mythical city of Lemuria. 4th century BCE.

Panel 3
The time machine/craft should be depicted hovering, not flying, Bob as he unknowingly poses in his space suit while greeting ancient man. One of them can be seen drawing on a cave wall. (see “200px-Wanjina_rock” reference picture.)

CAP: Australia. 2.4 Million years ago.

CAP Bob: “they all did. In retrospect… she must have been so lonely.”

Panel 4
A pharaoh is showing deference to Bob by bowing his head and placing his fist across his chest. The pharaoh’s people are doing the same as they take a knee behind the pharaoh.

CAP: Egypt. 5000 years ago.

CAP Bob: “I was always a failure in my own time, but these people… I guess I kind of liked being treated like a god wherever we went.”

Panel 5
Wide shot/Large shot – Quetzalcoatl is standing on the highest plateau atop a pyramid wearing a feathered headdress (see “Quetzalcoatl” reference picture) at night. He is lifting his arms in victory/triumph and his followers are worshipping him at the bottom of the pyramid. Behind him, there is a barely clothed/nude woman lying bound with ropes on an altar. It should be obvious that Quetzalcoatl is about to enjoy a human sacrifice. (Torchlight is the only light but it should be depicted as bright enough.)

CAP: The mythical city of Tollan. 500 BCE.

CAP Bob: “except in Mesoamerica. That’s where I lost it.”
CAP Jay: “Lost what?”

Panel 6
Wide shot/Small shot – Foreground: Quetzalcoatl has lowered his arms and looks fiercely at the flying disc as it hurtles toward the Earth in the background. (For this close up, I need for Quetzalcoatl to be in his Reptilian/Draconian form.) (see “Reptile” and “reptilian-shapeshifter” reference pictures.)

Bob: “Everything.”



Panel 1
Bob, in his space suit, is stepping from his craft/time machine while Quetzalcoatl is smiling with open arms toward Bob. The followers of Quetzalcoatl have dropped their spears/weapons and are bowing in the same manner that the other ancients were.

CAP Bob: “At first, he was decent.”
CAP Marcia: “‘Decent’. A giant lizard king.”
CAP Bob: “I’m from Savyer City. There’s a lot more strangeness happening on a daily basis than a lizard man. Anyway, he befriended me. We were both gods walking among men. I think he wanted to rule together but…”

Panel 2
Izzie steps from the craft and immediately, Quetzalcoatl’s interest is piqued. Bob is smiling now as he is oblivious to Quetzalcoatl’s demeanor change.

CAP Bob: “But when he saw Izzie…”

Panel 3
Quetzalcoatl is pointing at Bob with an angry look on his face. The followers have picked up their weapons again and are brandishing them toward Bob who is in dismay.

CAP Bob “That’s when everything changed.”



Panel 1
Reaction shot – A chest up of a depressed Bob explaining his story in a chow hall setting.

Bob: I lost the girl, not to mention my time machine, to Quetzalcoatl just before he sent me to some weird dimension–

Carlita (Off Panel): the lower fourth.

Bob: Yeah. Thanks, Carlita. Before he left, he said he was returning to the stars to once again be with his own people. That’s when He revealed to me that he was a Draconian, which is why the ancients called him their Bird King.

CAP: Dreamland seven. Above Top Secret US Military Base. Location Unknown.

Panel 2
Wide shot – A large shot of the Undesirables and Bob in his futuristic space suit. The group is listening intently to Bob as he speaks while Timothy is talking to Jay, the pink man who should be rolling his eyes.

Bob: Carlita somehow contacted me and said she could bring me home. I just wanted to get back to the right dimension and now thanks to her I’m the closest to my time that I’ve been all week. But it is important I get back soon. Rent’s coming up and I don’t want to lose my deposit. Plus, all my equipment. You know how much the equipment costs to make a time machine?

Timothy (small): Dude rewrote history in a week.

Jay (small): if you believe everything he says.

Khamen (Off Panel): I’m glad you’re here, bob.

Panel 3
The entire group is surrounded by the base’s guards. In the middle is a large man who looks similar to Quetzalcoatl, only he is in human form. It should be obvious that he is in charge.

Khamen: You’re going to build me a time machine. The last one you lent me broke.



About superawesomevigilanteguy

I am a published (although still not quite a professional) comic/script/screenplay writer interested in telling some pretty weird, but ultimately thought provoking stories. I am currently sending a lot of stories to I'm a Geek Ent. so I am looking for artists interested in adding to their published portfolio. If so, email me at or message me here and I will be sure to get back to you ASAP. (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); = id; js.src = "//"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s