Colored art for “Baggage”!

Art for Baggage

Written by me. Art copyright: Tun Hlaing.

Savyer City Stories Book I

X in:


a Killing Time story


Panel 1

X has an interior monologue with himself while he is walking from a house carrying buckets and luggage with blood seeping from them.

X interior monologue: Everyone wants to know why I kill so much.

X interior monologue: I can’t walk past a vid shop without being bombarded by a dozen amateur psychologists telling people why I do the things I do.

X interior monologue: They said on the news vids this morning that you were abused as a child.

Panel 2

The panel drops to the various buckets and even a suitcase with blood seeping from the bottom.

X interior monologue: Exactly! The emotional baggage thing. I hear that a lot, but I never hear the real answer.

X interior monologue: Don’t you? I think the talking heads are getting closer, at least. Right?

Panel 3

X is at the passenger side rear door, opening it.

X interior monologue: Please. The real answer is too simple for them to grasp.

X interior monologue: And the too simple to grasp answer is…?

X interior monologue: I’ve lost my mind.

Panel 4

X places the luggage in the backseat. More suitcases and a dead cab driver lay on the seat he places the luggage on. The buckets are on the cab’s floor.

X interior monologue: Oh. We know how you get when you lose your mind.

Panel 5

X interior monologue: You do this every time. Lately, it’s been anytime you have an excuse.

With a degree of difficulty, X tries to smash the door closed with his body.


X interior monologue: Yes, but this time it’s different.


Panel 6

X finally manages to close the door.

X internal monologue: It’s becoming more fun.



Panel 1

Medium shot – Front shot of X smiling in the driver’s seat with both hands on the wheel. His outward environment should look morbid, decrepit, like the worst inner city you have ever seen. Inside the cab should be shiny and clean except for the backseat.

Panel 2

Medium shot/Side shot – Outside the cab shot from the side. X happily drives Downtown with obvious blood and other seepage emanating from the bottoms of the doors as he cruises along, the only other car on the trashy road.

X interior monologue: So it’s not that you’re planning something big? You aren’t getting more excited, more turned on, by dramatizing more and more slayings the closer it gets to game time?

X interior monologue: …

X interior monologue: You know you’ll meet opposition soon.

Panel 3

Police lights flashing in the rearview.

X interior monologue: You don’t think I’m afraid of–?

SFX: WHHEEEooooeeeeOOOOeeeeoooooo

X interior monologue: Hardly the opposition I was talking about.

Panel 4

Close shot – Over the shoulder shot of X looking into the side mirror and seeing the badge and gun on the Savyer City Downtown Division officer. He is rolling down the window.


X: He’s not much better. In fact, he’s not any better. My planning alone– Watch this and shut the fuck up.

Panel 5

X is out of the car and opening the back door. The cautious division officer has his hand on his weapon, a large, silver revolver.

Officer: Sir, I need you to step back inside your vehic–

X: Are you Division Officer Harold Franklin? Security head at the Downtown Police Depo, where all the police vehicles… and all the fancy, new mech units straight from The Parent Co. — via BioMech Tech, of course — are being housed?

Panel 6

The two Xs are shown seated in a fancy den, watching what is happening on what looks like a giant window.

Officer (from screen): How could you possibly know that?

X1: He has no idea how an average citizen could possibly have this knowledge. I should read his address and the names of his children to him.

X2: I don’t even know how we have this knowledge.


Panel 1

The officer is alarmed and raising the gun in his left hand. X is holding the knife concealed by his trench coat in his belt.

X: Thank you for your confirmation of employment, Harold. I actually have a gift for you.

Panel 2

X whips the serrated blade he was gripping in his left hand, creating an “X” pattern in the air, to slit a few veins in the officer’s outstretched left arm and to dramatically slit the officer’s throat.

X: A quick and painless death!

Panel 3

X is dramatically holding the knife out at his side after spraying blood all over the yellow taxi cab he was previously driving. The officer is dropping the huge revolver and reaching for his neck.

X interior monologue: Easy.

Panel 4

X uses his right hand to shove the officer’s average (avg. height/build) body into the bloody backseat.

(I would like for these 4 panels to be long and in a row to show the passing of little time between X’s actions from panel to panel. It will make it seem very fast. It should read like this: “using one hand to grip a long, serrated blade and whip it across the surprised division officer’s arm and neck and the other hand to shove him into the car almost in one maniacal motion.” Or as close to that as you can draw it.)

X interior monologue: I do my research.

Panel 5

The door shuts more easily this time due to the force of X’s shove.

X interior monologue: Plus–

Panel 6

He stops a moment to regain his composure.

X2 interior monologue: –Not like this is work or anything.

Panel 7

X looks toward the back seat and speaks to the dying officer.

X: Did I say “quick and painless”? I meant “long and agonizing”.

X2 interior monologue: If you really wanted to have some fun you would have taken this guy’s piece and used it on him later. A little poetic jus–

Panel 8

X looks down at the gun in the seat next to him.

X2 interior monologue: Touché.



About superawesomevigilanteguy

I am a published (although still not quite a professional) comic/script/screenplay writer interested in telling some pretty weird, but ultimately thought provoking stories. I am currently sending a lot of stories to I'm a Geek Ent. so I am looking for artists interested in adding to their published portfolio. If so, email me at or message me here and I will be sure to get back to you ASAP. (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); = id; js.src = "//"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));
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