Gotcha! in: “Electric Feel” by Chris Johnson

Synopsis – A woman dressed as a prostitute in a seedy part of Downtown is walking the block for tricks. A sleazy looking john picks her up after a short conversation and they pull into a dark and secluded alley where the john starts unbuttoning his pants after turning off the car. While pulling his manhood out for her to see, she tells the man, Trenton, to hold on while she gets protection from her purse. She begins digging around in her purse for what seems like a long time to Trenton. Something perplexes him. He asks how she knows his name. He thinks she might have recognized him as a rich investor but the young woman knows a lot more about Trenton than she should. She knows he is an embezzler and thief, having stolen the life savings of many of the city’s impoverished. When the woman finally finds the item she is digging around her purse for, it is revealed to be a taser. She directs it toward his genitals.
The woman recites a laundry list of offenses he has committed including embezzling money from various hard working individuals including an older man who lost his family and his life because of Trenton’s greed. He offers a payoff and she replies by firing the taser, electrocuting him. The next morning, police are staring down at a fried corpse with a signed paper document in the seat next to him. It is evidence of Trenton’s mismanagement of the funds of so many of Downtown’s poor. The officer on the scene turns to the back page of the document and reads, “Gotcha! Inc.”
Epilogue: Letters in manila envelopes are delivered to various families throughout the city while the woman who made it possible for them to get the money they were owed is alone, sitting in the dark. Various costumes and wigs are seen decorating the room as the young woman is in her room looking over the funds she received back from Trenton’s death. She thinks about her father, the man she had told Trenton of before killing him, and how she would rather have him back than any amount of money. She ends up crying alone in her apartment with a check for a large amount of money in one hand and a picture of her and her father in the other saying, “Happy Birthday, Daddy.”

“Electric Feel”

a (comic book formatted) Savyer City story

 by Chris Johnson

Page 1

Panel 1

Establishing shot – The Camera is facing the back of a raven haired woman she is is looking off panel as if in a hopeless daze. She is tall. Black fishnet leggings, heels, black mini skirt and matching leather jacket, accentuated but small breasts. Medium sized purse under her arm.

Panel 2
Birds eye view – Raggedy car pulls up to beautiful woman.

Panel 3
Over-the-shoulder shot of woman leaning into car window. Interior of car. Sleazy man smiles. Large sunglasses at night, cheap and gaudy jewelry/necklaces/rings, looks somewhat like he is slumming. Car has crumbs and fast food wrappers throughout floor and seats.

Woman: Hey baby. You want some company tonight?

Panel 4
Shot of woman leaning in car, smiling.

Man: Why else would I be here? How much?
Woman: You look like you can afford me.
Man: Get in.

Page 2

Panel 1
High angle overhead shot – Car makes a right into an alley. Seclusion.

Man: This should be secluded enough.

Panel 2
Low angle shot – Car parks. Trash and rodents are depicted near the tires.

Panel 3
Close in on the man’s hand as he turns the key to shut off the vehicle.

Panel 4
Close in on the man’s hand as he begins unbuckling his pants.

Woman (OP): Hold on, Trenton, let me get the condom.

Panel 5
Belligerent looking confused face on man.

Man: How the hell do you know my name, whore? You recognize me?

Panel 6
Woman’s hand digging in purse pushing items over to one side to get a good look at the bottom.

Woman (OP): I know a lot about you, Trenton. I know that you are a wealthy investment banker who for years has made his nut by cheating poor people out of what little money they have with promises of investing in their future.

Panel 7
Man looking down at his exposed genitals.

Man: Hey, if they’re dumb enough to believe it—

Panel 8
Woman’s hand still in purse. Articles on the other side of the purse.

Woman (OP): They are not dumb, Mr. Trenton.

Panel 9
Man tilting his head back in frustration. His eyes are closed and shoulders slumped.

Page 3

Panel 1
Medium shot – Older woman giving the man her life savings (stocks, bonds, paper documents) as he smiles.

CAP Woman: They were desperate.

CAP: Years Ago…

Panel 2
Close in shot of Trenton’s outstretched hand ready to shake.

CAP Woman: They already didn’t have much…

Panel 3
Medium shot – The older woman hugs him heartily, thus surprising him.

CAP Woman: …and you sold them some bullshit dream.

Page 4

Panel 1
Medium shot – Young woman standing in front of door number 11J at an ill kept motel.

CAP Woman: They thought you were doing them a favor…

Panel 2
Close shot – Young woman looking down at a note on the door handle as she is about to knock on the door.

CAP Woman: …a service.

Panel 3
The note, now in her hand, reads, “it’s open. –mr. t.”

Panel 4
Splash of Trenton lying nude on the bed motioning with his finger for the young woman to “come here”.

CAP Woman: And you used them.

Panel 5
The young woman closes her eyes and lowers her head. Shameful?

Panel 6
Exterior shot of the door to 11J closing.

Page 5

Panel 1
Close shot of small hands giving a valuable basketball card to Trenton’s greedy hands.

CAP Woman: They gave you everything.

Panel 2
Medium shot – Face shot from young boy’s POV. Shot of Trenton smiling downward, almost menacingly, toward the unhappy boy.

CAP Woman: Their hopes.

Panel 3
Young boy looks up at Trenton with a broken heart. Tears welling up in his eyes.

CAP Woman: Their future…

Panel 4
The father pats his son on the head and his wife (the young woman from the hotel 11J scene) looks away blinking tears from her eyes. The son is looking up at the father now as if he is wondering what his old man is thinking.

CAP Woman: …their last.

Panel 5
Close shot – The card is shown to be a Michael Jordan rookie card. It shines in its plastic casing as it is inserted in Trenton’s pocket.

CAP Woman: And you stole from them.

Page 6

Panel 1
Close shot of a stub showing money in an account. A thumb is obscuring half of the ticket.

CAP Woman: And when they began reaping what you had sown…

Panel 2
Closer shot after the thumb is moved showing that the funds “Cannot be touched at this time.”

CAP Woman: …when their dreams became nightmares…

Panel 3
Wide angle shot – Older woman’s house has a ‘foreclosed’ sign on the well manicured lawn. She is crying from the sidewalk arms outstretched toward her former residence but police officers are holding her back. On the porch, her furniture and things are being thrown onto the lawn.

Older woman: You know I have money coming in! Just ask Mr. Trenton. I gave you my investment banker’s number!
Officer: The city called. No one answered. You need to leave now. This is no longer your house.

CAP Woman: …you disappeared.

Panel 4
Older man clutching a stub to his chest as he tries to keep warm in an alley. He has a sleeping bag wrapped around him, a skullcap on his head. Add homeless paraphernalia, cardboard box, etc.

CAP Woman: You destroyed them.

Page 7

Panel 1
Medium shot – Man kicking and screaming while being taken away from Mr. Trenton’s offices by security.

CAP Woman: No more office meet and greets. No more assurances with their coffee.

Panel 2
Close shot – From a side angle. Trenton looking on with a smirk.

Panel 3
Medium shot – A curious colleague pokes his head in on Trenton from around the corner with an inquisitive look.

Panel 4
Trenton’s smile is gone and he looks forlorn, as if sad that the business deal had gone bad.

Panel 5
Trenton’s computer screen shows a transfer of funds entering his account from a now empty one.

CAP Woman: All the while you were doctoring the books to make it look like their money was gone and that these people had lost everything…

Page 8

Panel 1
Woman’s hand still in purse, clutches something larger than a condom.

Woman (OP): …everything you pocketed.

Panel 2
Man’s hand surreptitiously reaching for gun under seat.

Man (OP): That’s a fair assessment. What do you want? A cut? Haha. A cut for a cunt, that’s funny.

Panel 3
Woman’s hand emerging from purse clutching small device.

Woman (OP): Salesman of the year, I’d say. But you’re not exactly employee of the month.

Panel 4
Man laughing.

Man (OP): No, who are you, really?
Woman: I’m the person whose task it is to tell you…everything ends.

Panel 5
Medium shot – woman with device in lap pointed at the man. The device should be visibly turned on with two sets of prongs sending and receiving blue electricity.

Man: (OP): Everything ends? What the hell’s that supposed to mean? Hey, how do you know all this about me?
Woman: Heh. It’s what I do.

SFX – BZZ-BZZT!

Panel 6
Close shot of the terrified man and his hand clutching his genitals. It is shown that his pants were open but not down. Face should show stark realization. His other hand should be out of frame due to him searching for his weapon.

Page 9

Panel 1
Close shot – woman POV. Man terrified. Wide eyes. Hands on genitals.

Man: Wait! What’re you gonna do with that?

Panel 2
Woman smiles genuinely. First time all story.

Woman: Heh. Also what I do.

Panel 3
High angle shot – Exterior of car. Tinted windows cracked for air. Small slivers of light come from cracked windows.

SFX (ZZZSSSSHHHHH—ZZSSHHHH!)

Emanating from Car: AAAIIIEEEE!!!

Page 10

Panel 1
Close shot – The woman’s heel shown stepping from the open car door

Panel 2
Medium shot – The woman fixing her skirt; Trenton’s signature is shown on the paper document under her arm thanks to a mid panel close up.

Panel 3
Close shot – close on mouth. The woman wipes the corner of her mouth with her thumb.

Panel 4
Medium shot – The woman walks off smiling. Triumphant.

Page 11

Panel 1
Medium shot – standing outside the car POV. Trenton’s fried corpse is shown still smoking in the vehicle.

Sergeant (OP): Whatever did this… it started from his sack. Worked its way up.

Lopez (OP): Someone electrocuted this guy’s nut sack? Brutal.

Panel 2
Close shot – Documents exchange hands. The young cop’s hands are clean, almost fresh looking while the hands receiving the evidence are rough and worn looking. Leathery.

Lopez (OP): Oh, Sarge? Almost forgot. Uniform found something in the seat next to him.

Sergeant (OP): What is it, Lopez? This something might explain why someone hated this guy so much?

Lopez (OP): Actually, yes…I think you should read it.

Panel 3
Close shot – From under the sergeant. The sarge is inquisitively leafing through the documents and the cop is looking over his shoulder. Some writing is obscured by his hands.

Panel 4
Close shot – From above Sergeant. Sergeant turns documents over to reveal the writing on the back of the documents which reads “Gotcha, Inc.” in large red print.

Sergeant: “Gotcha”?

Lopez: You think it’s another vigilante, sir? Sir?

Sergeant: Hhhh… Shit.

Page 12

Panel 1
Close shot – A woman’s hand placing a manila envelope on a front porch. It is leaning on the door.

CAP: Epilogue…

Panel 2
Close up shot of the same hand making a fist and knocking on the door.

SFX – KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

Panel 3
Medium shot of the older woman who had lost her house in the now open doorway looking down at the envelope. Her surroundings should be very bad. A hovel of a house/apartment. Possibly a shelter.

Panel 4
Half splash shot/Wide angle shot – A moving van in front of the older woman’s house with the foreclosed sign lying flat on the grass. The older woman crying happy tears as she walks up her porch steps again.

Panel 5
Close shot of the tears on the older woman’s face as she smiles while looking at her house.

Panel 6
Close up shot of her hands holding a bill of sale for the house. Should read: “Mortgage: Paid” and “in light of information received from an entity called Gotcha, Inc.” somewhere on the document.

Page 13

Panel 1
Establishing shot – Various colored wigs and costumes, including a postal service uniform and the hooker outfit, are shown.

Panel 2
Medium shot – An average room, although dark, is shown. A hunched silhouette sits before a glowing computer screen.

Panel 3
Close up shot – An award letter like the one the older woman had is seen on the desk.

Panel 4
close up shot – camera moves downward to show that the document is entitled to the same name that was on the stub the old man who had slept in the alley had. The one that could not be redeemed at that time.

Panel 5
Close shot – A picture of the old man in the alley is held by the same female hand that had delivered the manila envelope, black painted nails. In the reflection is the young woman who had electrocuted Mr. Trenton. She is crying and there are tear drops pooling on the picture frame’s glass surface. The picture depicts the old man and the woman both smiling over a banner that reads, “Happy Birthday, Dad! We love you!”

Woman: You would have been fifty-six today.

Page 14

Panel 1
Splash shot/high angle shot – The woman holds her head in her hands as tears stream down her beautiful face and onto the picture.

Woman: Happy birthday, Daddy.

End.

Questions for the reader: Who is this new heroine in Savyer City? How does she know what she knows about her victim? What else does she know? Does she have any other victims in mind? What is Gotcha, inc. and does she have anyone working with her? For her?

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About superawesomevigilanteguy

I am a published (although still not quite a professional) comic/script/screenplay writer interested in telling some pretty weird, but ultimately thought provoking stories. I am currently sending a lot of stories to I'm a Geek Ent. so I am looking for artists interested in adding to their published portfolio. If so, email me at themostthrowed@gmail.com or message me here and I will be sure to get back to you ASAP. (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));
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